My Big Boy

It came to my attention, once again, just how far Ray has come.  There was a guest at church today, once that hasn’t seen Ray in about a year. We were talking about his speech, and the fact that he tested really well at school last year academically.

Ok. You have to remember that at one point, I was told to expect moderate retardation at best in his testing. Most probably combined with autism. (Neither of which is his particular problem).

So. The fact that he can feed himself, make his opinions known verbally and is a social creature is really quite remarkable to some people.

We, however, always new better. If not, go see the post titled MY KID’S NOT AUTISTIC.

Anyhoo— We deal with Ray everyday. So we still see that he falls off his feet (Kerplop!), has a few motorskills problems, but is overall a bright boy. We forget sometimes, exactly how much he has learned in the past year. How much his learning has accelerated. Colors, numbers, counting, shapes, name recognition (written)…

He learned a lot in the past year and I am so proud of him! We still have things we need to work on, but overall… He’s the smart boy I always knew was residing inside his head. He just couldn’t let people know before.

Autistic my fanny!

Happy Mother’s Day

The church hold’s a Mother’s Day Tea the Saturday before M-Day every year. This is the fourth year I’ve attended. The first, I attended with Jane, very pregnant. The second, Ray was growing, and Jane and I were there together again.

Last year was rough. I ended up a neurotic, crying mess. Jane didn’t come because she wasn’t feeling well. Of course, Dad was home with her. Brian was in the kitchen helping the other men cook for us, Ray was in the nursury with his Auntie Gacca, and I sat alone and miserable. Someone else even snatched Ray’s high-chair, so I couldn’t even have him eat with me…..

I was feeling pretty sorry for myself.  Like I said before, I ended up crying. Missing my mom, Elaine, with a fiercness that shocked me. I was an emotional wreck.

There was one, bright, shining moment that made all the emotional mayhem worth it, though. Carol sang the Etta Jame’s song, “At Last.” I ran back to the nursury, grabbed Ray and brought him out with me to watch her sing and sway and dance to the music.

His jaw dropped when he first heard her singing. He has always loved music– classical, country, rock, pop… What ever I’ve thrown at him. But he had never heard a person singing like that in real life before.

This year, I had lower expectations for the tea. I didn’t expect to really have fun, make any connections… Just maybe a little fellowship, a little break from the day to day. And at first, that’s exactly what I got.

I sat in-between two groups. At first, I felt… out of place. Like I didn’t belong. Even though I am a mommy, everyone else was paired up. Except for me. Then I caught M.E.’s sense of humor, and it is so like my own that I nearly wet myself a couple of times. And I talked with G, a lot. More than I ever have before. So much so, that I ended up feeling as if I had come to the tea with her and Y. Connection made.

I shared the story wof “At Last” with Carol a few weeks ago. This year, as some of the door prizes, she made CD’s of her music, and THE SONG was on it.  But even better, she sang it again. And once again, I went and grabbed Ray. His jaw dropped. He ran up and grabbed her hand and danced between us, her holding his left, me his right. He was entranced. Mesmerized.

At last, I’ve found my way.

Happy Mother’s Day Mommy, I hope it was a grand one.

Wyn

Notes On Sunday

So today I had worship. But I need to back up a little bit and talk a bit about pre-worship.

I came in to church with my haands full of the Amazing Baby Ray and all of our stuff. And I was trying very hard to get a two year old boy his donut, since he had been good all morning. Kind of hard to juggle.

And then came Dorothy.

I’m not as familiar with her as I am with the other ladies of the church. She’s kind of quiet, hangs back a bit. But today, she was right on point with Ray and I. She helped me get him a donut, sat with us as we joined the table and he got to sit in a big boy chair as he ate his treat.

When he was entranced with the flowers in the front, she went with us to take a closer look. Gorgeous Easter Lilly’s bursting from vases. I played with Ray, making a big show of sniffing the flowers and he pretended to sneeze. I told him how beautiful they were and he said something in response. So did she.

That’s when I turned to her and asked “You do all the flowers, don’t you?” I’m pretty sure that it is her, and they are gorgeous. I would love to walk in the garden that grows the magnificence that graces us every Sunday. And she said yes. She didn’t say “thank you” when I originally spoke of the beauty, it wasn’t until I asked…

She stayed with Ray in the nursury while I made my public speaking debut. Somehow, I think she misses her grandchildren terribly. I’m not sure what’s going on, but I can tell you one thing: It is their loss. I’m not sure what’s going on, but it’s tragic that children so small are being deprived of so much love.

So I spoke today. Didn’t goof up too much. Shared some of my poetry. Had a good response. But if you really wanted to hear a good speaker, you had to be there for the 11:00am worship, when Dad took the pulpit. He took what I wanted to say and put it to music.

God, I love it when that man speaks Your Word. Always have. Always will.

I’ll post a little poetry for you all too, in a separate post.

Nighty-Night!

Wyn

Catch Up

Well, I’ll be working 4 days this week. WOOHOO!!!! Things are looking a bit up right now.This is just a quick bit to catch up with what’s going on (right before work LOL).

1. The Amazing Baby Ray is doing great. He’s babbling a lot more, and using a lot more words. I’m really pleased with the way he’s starting to progress.

2. I talked with Phyllis, the pastor of our church and my mentor (whether she likes it or not) about my little Project Ray of Sunshine. I can’t do it without the church… And it turns out she was thinking simular thoughts as mine. So, we have it in the works and I am so excited!

3. Sunday Night, with the time change? Ray went to sleep at 11:00pm! That turkey! I was so tired… but he was out by 8:30 last night, so hopefully his clock has been reset.

4. I’ve been writing a lot of spiritual poetry, in addition to the children’s poetry. I kind of like it. I’ll post some of it either tonight or sometime this week. It’ll depend on MR. RAY and when he goes night night.

5. I really miss writing in here when I’m busy. SO. I’ll try and write more. It’ll be easier once I get my other computer up and running… But it’s with Leyla Bean right now. So. Short missives from work or late night ramblings are what you’re gonna get until I get back into the schedule.

6. I really love my church. I love a small congregation where everyone knows everyone else. It’s the way I was raised, and I can’t stand the huge, stadium style churches that my husband likes. But– But— Brian came back to church with me this past Sunday. I think the more personal attention is better for Ray. These people are a part of his family– they have loved him since before he was born and welcomed him with open arms.

Lots of love!

Wyn

Alternate Super Bowl Party

So. Yesterday was the big day. SUPERBOWL SUNDAY. The one day that men all over the country get their football on with serious parties. Bri and I were invited to one, along with the Amazing Baby Ray, but I chose to bow out.

Saturday night I had had enough. I was done. Friday had been stressful, Saturday I had a ton of dental work done and of course I had been stressed about that as well. The last thing I wanted to do was go someplace that was not baby proofed and could never be completely Baby Ray Proofed– because of things like a glass coffee table. I knew exactly what would happen– I’d spend hours running after Ray and start resenting the heck out of Bri and everyone else at the party.

So. I swallowed my fear and told Brian. I don’t want to go. I’ve had too much stress, I need a day of no-stress. He made sure I understood that I’d have to have Ray, and I said of course! That had been my plan all along. And we had a blast people!

It started out with church, where I was able to find my voice and speak up. I don’t think the person understands (still) what I was getting at. That there are a million ways that we do God’s work everyday. Just because we don’t do it under the auspices of the church doesn’t mean that it doesn’t do good. But that’s ok. Then, I played the organ (the beast) for prelude, since Phyllis asked so nicely. Besides, she was back taking care of Ray so I figured it was worth it.

After lunch, and nap time, Ray and I watched “Peter Pan”. He loves it! Then we ran around the house, screaming like loons, before donning shoes and socks and going for a walk around the block. He loves our walks. And, I have to admit, now that he will hold hands I find them much more enjoyable myself. He loves picking up sticks, saying “hi” and “Bye” to people, heck he even broke out into song at one point. (Couldn’t understand a word he was singing, but BOY could you understand the happiness!). After we got back, we painted, had some dinner, watched “Aladdin” as we played with blocks and cars and all sorts of fun things.

So. Thank you Superbowl!

Who would have thunk it? The only thing I missed was the food. I’ll admit it. I’m a foodie. SIGH. But Potluck Sunday comes in just a couple of weeks so hey! Not so bad after all.

Was it Sunday?

So today was a big Sunday for both my little family and the church family in general. And ok, my family (with 5 siblings), isn’t actually that small. STILL…

Today was Bri’s first time speaking in front of the church. He had the 9:30am Worship service, which is a great way of breaking in new speakers– 15 minutes, to get the congregation uplifted before Sunday School and regular church services. Also, Josh, my brother’s youngest son, was baptized.

Oh, I was looking forward to today.

Except… I wasn’t there. Nope. Momma get left behind. I’d love to say I was all philosophical about it, but the truth is that I was rather dissappointed, and I let it show. All day long.

Baby Ray was sick. Not just I have the sniffles sick, either. Nope. He had the “I’m waking up at 3am because I have a fever and I’m not going back to sleep unitl 4:30am and THEN I’m going to wake you up AGAIN at 6am.” sicky-poo.  A cough, sniffles and a slight fever. Nothing like the last fever he had, thank goodness. And the fever’s gone now. But between you and me… Nope. No way he was going to make it through church today. Plus, you can’t risk getting the other members sick.

SO. I know I could have asked Bri to come home during Sunday School (which I also enjoy with one glaring exception), and we could have switched off and at least I would have gotten to see Josh (Joshie! I remember you when you were no older than Ray! How could you be old enough -and then some- to be baptized already?) dunked by Daddy.

However.

But.

Brian was so excited. He was asking questions about the church, about membership, about this and that and the other thing. And did I think Josh would like this? And he was going to speak to it during the worship. And that kind of excitement is so nice to see in Bri’s eyes. Because he hasn’t always been very fond of the church or even of God. This is new to him, and the smaller church even newer still.

The only reason he started going to our little church that can is because of me. Because I was so terribly unhappy with the stadium seating and impersonal nature of the larger church. Originally, it was supposed to be 2 on, 2 off. (2 at my church, 2 at his). But he likes the people, he likes the church. Loves my dad. Has bonded after pot luck with my brother.

Yes. So I was dissappointed. But someone new to the Community of Christ was able to experience the excitement and joy of a baptismal Sunday.

Best Preacher Ever Heard

I love going to church and having my brother there. I feel like such a kid, giggling and behaving inappropriately… Which was the case today.

Until he began speaking.

I’ve listened to him preach all my life, and I have to tell you that he is one of the best speakers I’ve ever heard. When he speaks of God, I can feel the Spirit move through the room. When he exhorts us to go out into our neighborhoods and live among them, to be Christian not only at church but in our homes and to our next door neighbors, it makes me want to jump up and cook dinner for a neighbor.

Or go upstairs and find out what’s really going on at 3 in the morning that sounds like a couch is being thrown around… or a person. Of course, when I told him of that plan, he immediately put the kabosh on it. Send Brian, or talk to the manager (which was my plan in the beginning). It’s too dangerous for a woman to go upstairs and intercede between people she doesn’t know.

That’s the daddy part of him talking.

Didn’t I mention that part? The best speaker that I’ve ever heard (and I’ve heard some great ones, including Joyce Meyers live in San Jose), and I’m lucky enough to talk to him on the phone any time I need to. I have been blessed to have his counsel, on matters large and small.

Like hurt feelings within the church. Yeh, I got my feelings hurt. On behalf of my son. And it’s pretty silly, and I know it it…  I am ferocious when it comes to protecting Ray, but I need to reign it in. EVERYONE at that church loves him, and I know for a fact that the person who hurt my feelings adores Ray. Take a breath, he advised. Maybe I’ll check it out when I see them next. But how you’re taking it is not how it was meant.

I know he’s right. I could see it as soon as we hung up. That’s one of the things I love about talking with him. He doesn’t brow beat you into believing in things his way. He just puts you on the path, and if you falter the kick in your pants is a small one.

Blessings.

Wyn

Wyn’s Top 5 / 5

Top 5 Hymns to Sing:

1. Joy to the World
2. Amazing Grace
3. Praise God from Whom all Blessings Flow
4. (Don’t know the name, but it’s basically the Gloria chorus for In Excelcius Deo?)
5. Ode to Joy

 

Top 5 Hymns / Religous songs to play:
(Note: Some of these I used to play a long time ago and no longer have the sheet music for)

1. Whispering Hope
2. Morning has Broken
3. This is my Father’s World
4. I come to the Garden
5. Joy to the World

Joy to the World is actually just one of my all time favorite songs. Period. The other four in my “play” list are because they were my mother’s favorites and I can still hear her sing along with them. Of the above, I can play the easy version of Whispering Hope and of Joy to the World.

What are your favorite church songs?

Sunday

Well, today was the day. Mark it on your calendars. The first time in waaaay longer than I care to admit that I played the Prelude and Offeratory at church. I also tried  to play a praise him for people to sing along to. Only 3 problems with that.

1. My music was different than what they were singing. Still, I made it through the first time, and then when they joined in (the second time I played).

2. The first time through when they were singing, I was able to keep where I was at because I had the words. The next 3 verses, not so much. So I didn’t play all the way through.

3. I suck. Not really, I just haven’t played regularly in over 20 years, and I have NEVER played for people to sing to before. Or, at least, people other than my mother.

I am also happy to say that even tho my brother was there, at church, LISTENING TO ME, he DID NOT jump up, point at me and say “You Suck!” In fact, everyone was so excited and nice about my playing. I kind of felt bad that I hadn’t tried before. Of course, playing for people singing had me more nervous than I’ve been in a very very long time (like since my wedding) and I wanted to rip poor Brian’s face off.

Ah, the joys of marriage.

Alls well that ends well, though, right? And tomorrow I’m off to church to practice a bit more on the beast as she’s going to be called. Cuz she’s kind of…. Quirky. The church organ- my Quirky Beast. I like it!

Luv to all,

Wyn

PS- Potluck was Yummy as always, and I am happy to announce that Ray made it through both Sunday School AND Nursury (church time) for the second week in a row. YAY! Although after I played for the last time, I went back and had a little peek. Walked off the nerves, more like it, cuz when he cries you can hear it all through the church.

Kisses!

Oopsies

I just realized today that… I’m going to be playing the organ in church on Sunday. And not only that, but my music teacher thinks I can actually play one of the easier hymns while people sing.

Never done that before. Ever!

Ok, so my mom used to sing along to my practice sessions when I was young and doing it as a chore. But anyone else? Nope, never happened. The church in Fremont, where I used to play, even had their organ way up on a balcony (which was for a choir we never had). So I could go up there and hide, and didn’t have to worry about whether anyone could see me. Or were trying to sing with me and I made a train wreck of the whole thing.

SIGH.

I had a nightmare that I played and my brother was there. After I was done he stood up and said, very loudly “That Sucked.” PLEASE NOTE: THAT WAS A NIGHTMARE. He’d never publicly humiliate me in that way about something that I was so insecure about. Private humilation is a different matter.

So I practiced today, and all I could think of was all the other people and I ended up messing up stuff that I can play in my sleep. SIGH.

Oh dear. I think I’m going to puke.

(I’ll let you know how Sunday goes. The good news is, it’s potluck Sunday, so my empty stomache will have lots of yummy stuff to much on).

Wyn