The church hold’s a Mother’s Day Tea the Saturday before M-Day every year. This is the fourth year I’ve attended. The first, I attended with Jane, very pregnant. The second, Ray was growing, and Jane and I were there together again.
Last year was rough. I ended up a neurotic, crying mess. Jane didn’t come because she wasn’t feeling well. Of course, Dad was home with her. Brian was in the kitchen helping the other men cook for us, Ray was in the nursury with his Auntie Gacca, and I sat alone and miserable. Someone else even snatched Ray’s high-chair, so I couldn’t even have him eat with me…..
I was feeling pretty sorry for myself. Like I said before, I ended up crying. Missing my mom, Elaine, with a fiercness that shocked me. I was an emotional wreck.
There was one, bright, shining moment that made all the emotional mayhem worth it, though. Carol sang the Etta Jame’s song, “At Last.” I ran back to the nursury, grabbed Ray and brought him out with me to watch her sing and sway and dance to the music.
His jaw dropped when he first heard her singing. He has always loved music– classical, country, rock, pop… What ever I’ve thrown at him. But he had never heard a person singing like that in real life before.
This year, I had lower expectations for the tea. I didn’t expect to really have fun, make any connections… Just maybe a little fellowship, a little break from the day to day. And at first, that’s exactly what I got.
I sat in-between two groups. At first, I felt… out of place. Like I didn’t belong. Even though I am a mommy, everyone else was paired up. Except for me. Then I caught M.E.’s sense of humor, and it is so like my own that I nearly wet myself a couple of times. And I talked with G, a lot. More than I ever have before. So much so, that I ended up feeling as if I had come to the tea with her and Y. Connection made.
I shared the story wof “At Last” with Carol a few weeks ago. This year, as some of the door prizes, she made CD’s of her music, and THE SONG was on it. But even better, she sang it again. And once again, I went and grabbed Ray. His jaw dropped. He ran up and grabbed her hand and danced between us, her holding his left, me his right. He was entranced. Mesmerized.
At last, I’ve found my way.
Happy Mother’s Day Mommy, I hope it was a grand one.