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Nano

Well. I’m nanoing. Not burning it up like some, but an increase in words almost every day.

I’m almost 10k into my story and I have no clue who it’s about. I have all the characters… but who I thought it was about?

Nope.

But I’m told that I can edit later. 

I believe I can do this. Even with the curveball I keep getting  thrown.

No excuses. Just words.

Not quitting till December 1st.

I can do this.

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Neuro

My path is not the

Straight and narrow 

Of your ken…

You say you understand,

My brain isn’t wired like yours.

And yet, 

Every time,

Everyday,

I have to fight for the

Simple right

To be 

Who 

Am.

If I had autism

I’d fit in your b
ox.

If I had ADD

You’d feel better

Putting pills 

In my mouth.

It’s not my fault

You choose not 

to see….

There are no boxes 

For souls

And mine is beautiful

Even if you choose

Not

to

See.

Boys and poetry

The princeling and I often talk about stories. Last weekend, I listened to him try to rewrite all of my stories. Every single one. 

While cleaning up some papers, I came across a poem we had started together. I remembered the first line, but had forgotten he had written the second. And now I know why he and I don’t work poetry much. He’s 11. And a boy. And I shouldn’t have been suprised….

Here goes…..

If I had a robot heart,

Would I be able to fart.

Yup, my son has mad rhyming skills.

Niht Dance

The stars were crisp and clear 

in the night sky. 

Tree tops reached, 

trying to touch the tiny dancers, 

but they spun away,

too and fro, 

in a dance only

 a master can teach.

 Did they spin to and fro,

 or was the world

 spinning in its own dance?

Or did I finally 

Finally 

have a chance to see 

Night in all her glory

and breathe?

Busy Brain

I’m happy tonight. Bouncing around, music in my head that no one else can hear happy. Busy brain is starting to kick in.

Busy Brain is an anomaly. I don’t tend to like doing a lot of things. After work, I like coming home, getting comfy and being DONE for the day. But there are, unfortunately, only so many books to read or shows to watch before your ass gets covered in moss. I know! It’s so unfair!

I don’t know if I talked about my busy brain idea on here before or not. But… here goes. Way back when I was in college, even doing my Masters Degree full time, working a full time job and a couple of part time ones… I was happy. Bad days, good days, of course. But fundamentally happy.

If you’re happy and you know it….

So. After going through a mild depression, I decided to join Partylite to get myself out of the house and start the busy brain phenomenon rolling. Then, the Princeling and I went on a trip (woohoo! loved it!). A brief pause while I had the stomach flu and then…

I signed up for an online writing class. And am debating taking a certificate program modelled on MFA programs. I want it for the writing, not the degree (already have an MA). So I did my writing assignment, gave feedback to others, posted my assignment and am now busily plotting my weekend.

Which includes laser tag and a Ren fair. WOOHOO!

Work is going well. I’m working on putting up a blog for my job, which is interesting. I’m writing, both fiction and here. I have a few Partylite things going on. I have a busy brain and that brain is happy.

Smiles…

I even did a garbage version of bullet journals for my son and I. I say garbage because I am not into the big expensive leather bound journals. Instead, I made one out of graph comp books. I didn’t do anything too fancy schmancy and we’ll see how that goes. I’ll keep you posted 🙂

I hope you had a great, music in your head bouncing around happy kind of day and are looking forward to a fantastic weekend.

Travelling

Today, the princeling and I are going on a trip, in our favorite rocket ship…. it’s time for us to go out and about. On our own. Well, sort of. We’re going to go visit family, but twill just be he and I in the car.

My son can’t remember the times we used to go travelling on our own. Admittedly, it’s only been twice, but still. My child thinks his mommy can’t travel on her own. Which if you knew my travel history is hilarious.

I love travelling with Linda. She’s one of the best friends I’ve ever had. Somewhere along the way, I’ve allowed myself to rely a bit too much on her. Yes, there are situations where I am uncomfortable. But something she said to me on the firstish trip (she ended up meeting me and a friend and ray in monterey) has been ringing in my head. “Why did you bring Her? You’re fine, you don’t need help with the princeling. You’re a good mom and you’ve got it handled”. 

And then I promptly let her handle the travel. Don’t get me wrong, I love travelling with her and T. It’s fun, and we get to talk answer laugh and share heart to heart moments. 

But my son sees me as weak. I write about kick ass women who save themselves and my son sees me as weak. It’s time to write a different story, one that includes travelling with Linda, but also some solo adventures with the princeling. 

It’s al,osteoporosis time for us to cut loose. Stay well my lovelies! 

Rethinking Disappointment 

Last night I was dissappointed. I went to a meeting and was expecting a guest speaker, who was ill and couldn’t attend. Instead, we had training tables set up, and while I did get some good information… at the time I couldn’t see it.

At one training table, someone was moved right in front of me. She didn’t accidentally get there, she was told and motioned to be there by the people running that training. To top things off, I had a hard time hearing them talk. I got some good info, but it kind of started the pity train rolling.

Another table had the signature scents and a spin the wheel kind of thing. It took me a minute or five to get up there and do it too. It was pretty cool, something I hadn’t done before, and had great ideas for parties. 

Next table was pretty cool. No problems hearing and no activity to jostle about. Learned new things about the part of Partylite I’m most uncomfortable with- sponsoring new people. 

The final table was about dream boards. They’re very simular to an inspiration board for writing. The thing I came away with on that one was a profoundly personal one. And one that’s been haunting me a lot lately. I’ll talk about it later, but it popped into the forefront last night. 

The raffle sacked only because I didn’t win lol. I understand what it’s for thought, and today I can remember that it’s a way to pay for the conference room. If I think of it as pan entrance fee, it doesn’t suck as bad never winning. Although I have won at the local meeting.

I left as soon as it was over. Didn’t stay to chit chat or talk to the 2 new people I had met, or even the ones I already know. That’s on me. By that point, I had let my disappointment overwhelm me.

It’s a long drive home from the meeting, and I was so tired… I’d been gone from home sine 6:15am. I made it home at 9:30pm. I didn’t start bawling until I hit the old country road. I pushed my favorite button and dialed someone I normally call to cheer up. 

I’m so glad I did.

She turned my pity party around. Made me see again the pride I felt when my 11 year old manned up to take care of poppa- cooking dinner for them because I was gone. He didn’t end up doing it, but he was wiÄșung. And he figured out dinner. When I got home he was WRITING, FOR FUN!!!!!!! He’s plotting out an RPG steam punk game. He’d started his homework, but needed help, and I gave him what he needed, and he finished no complaints.

And the fact is, last night was a win. I did learn things, even if they weren’t what I went for. And I could have made some amazing new friends, but I stopped that from happening. I need to do better next time.

And maybe text someone and make sure the guest is showing up.

Have you attended an event and been dissappointed? We’re you able to turn it around?