Tag Archive | moving


I am homesick.

For my little bitty apartment, on Sesame Street. The one with not enough plugs in the kitchen, or counter space. The one where the windows didn’t always work quite right, and the screen door was falling off it’s hinges.

You know the one. The one where my son grew up. Where he ran around a big looping figure 8 around the chair, did his Yo-Gabba dance (a galloping, thigh slapping dance) the first time. The place where Brian, Ray and I were invincible. A family.

Safe. Together.

I called over there today, asked what a 2 bedroom would cost. I know that a 1 bedroom would be just a little bit too small for the 3 of us now.

But I want to go home. I don’t know how I’ll do it. I don’t know how… because almost all my money is going to daycare and gas. But I’ll find a way.

I told Brian tonight, on the phone, that I want to go back. That I need to go back home to sesame street. There’s no back yard for Ray to play in, but the rent’s do-able if Brian starts working fairly quickly, and it’s central to bus lines and stores and parks and all sorts of stuff.

I want to go home.

I want to go home.

I want to go home.


Not that anyone is reading, but…. The move is on for Saturday. Brian will be with us until next Wednesday, then I begin my life as a single mom living with her dad.



The good thing about it is that we, Ray and I, will have stability. Stability. I love that word. The curving hiss of the s, the sigh of the a, the soft “buh”, and of course ility is fun no matter how you slice it. The word is full of contradictions which serve to balance it out.

Stability means a schedule, which Ray thrives on. Stability means being able to pay your bills off, and still have money left over for essentials like diapers, juice and of course, books.

Stability means not having to worry, or fret. Fret is another word that sounds like it is. Small and full of sharp, pointy edges. Worry just goes round and round, kind of like the action of worrying itself.

So. Things will be rough. And hopefully I’ll have more time for you, my dear readers…. But for now the box bug has gotten hold of me.

And I’ll try not to worry and fret.

Talk soon.


Changes they are a coming

So. I am getting ready to move out of my little apartment. Ray and I are going to go and live with Dad for a little while.

Ok. I’m lying. It’s probably going to be a long while.

In a way, I’m dreading it. Getting Ray used to a new home, a new routine, life without his daddy… Well, it’s going to be hard. And I can’t just foist him off on other people. I’m his Mom. This is my responsibility. No one elses. Except, maybe, Brian’s.

But there’s a lot that I’m looking forward to. I love talking with my dad, love being around him. And I think this will be good for him too. He’s admitted to having some issues with depression lately. He’s a people person. Which makes sense– he’s one of my favorite peoples.

And lets not forget the back yard. Oh thank heaven. I’m really really looking forward to coming home from work, feeding Ray, then throwing him in the back yard and letting him run off his energy. Bath-time, then bedtime. Yay!

The only part I’m really dreading is the transition. Ray is a high-octane type of child. Dad is 83. Here’s hoping Dad’s patience and love and kindness don’t desert him, and maybe even rub off on the little ‘un.

So. The month of May is going to be moving month. I may not be writing as much this month, but you’re going to be in my thoughts. Keep us in yours, too.