Sometimes it’s the ones who are hurting the most who give. They fling love and comfort out into the world, even as others deny it to them.
My niece has a whole host of health problems. Because of them, she is in constant, debilitating pain. They run the gamut from her spine to her heart to her intestines to her sinuses and a whole lot that I know nothing about. Somedays, even breathing hurts.
But I know what hurts more.
There are those who say they love her, and who probably do… that say it’s all in her head. Or are casually cruel: ‘you’re getting fat’. Well, 1. The amount of steroids she’s on swells up her face and 2. Her whole host of medical problems kind of makes it hard to excersize.Her body has turned on her, and so have the people in her life.
And yet. And yet.
And yet,she is one of my favorite people. We go places together, not alot… but hopefully enough.
And yet, I know I can call her when I’m having a problem. When I’m lost, I know she’ll help me find my way. And when I’m so frustrated that I’m sobbing, she’ll make me laugh, pick up a ridiculously low priced printer for me and solve the problem.
I called on Sunday, crying because of childcare. My father gave me 12 hours notice that he was leaving on a trip. .. and none of my usual backups were answering the phone or able to help. I had 2 options, if I stayed at the house (which I have to do)…. but they both involved juggling.
I’m not a good juggler. Things fall, and break, all the time.
So I called her, crying. I only expected her to listen. Instead, she gifted me with a solution. One my son is ecstatic with, and I am grateful for. I can handle 1 ball in the air.
My heart is easier this week. Her heart… it physically has problems. But the other heart? It’s bigger than those problems.