Archive | February 2010


Dear Customer:

 I know that some of you are used to talking with someone else. You’re not really used to me, or to talking to a girl. Lets face it, you spoke with him for years and years. So when he called you, you felt not only that you could trust him, but that here was someone you are comfortable with. So you gave him an order. An opportunity to quote. An opening.

Something you might not know is that almost everyone here has been bound by a confidentiality agreement at all times. That means, in effect, for three years the person who has signed that agreement cannot call customers that they have dealt with at our workplace, use knowledge of our pricing structures to under cut us with said customers, or try and get the same products from our suppliers. To do any of these things wouldn’t just be unethical, it would be illegal for the person who had signed the contract.

It’s easy to say, “Oh, I would never do that. It’s illegal.” What if there was no confidentiality agreement? If it were legal, but not necessarily right.

 Here’s what I did. I was laid off last winter (2008/2009) due the economy. At the time of my being laid off, I had *no* confidentiality agreement on file. The person who did all of our HR let it slip by the wayside. I could have gone to any one of our competitors with no legal ramifications. It was not, however, something that I could live with. So when I looked for work, I looked outside the industry. At the time, there were 10 ads in the Sunday Paper for jobs. But still I persevered. Luckily, when business started picking up again, I came back to work here full time. And I never compromised my principles.

I don’t have the product knowledge that 14 years in the industry can provide. You aren’t as comfortable with me as you are with him. Nothing but time will cure these things. But I will never do anything that goes against my ethical code. Not even to benefit myself. I’ve even told my boss and co-workers when they were doing something that I didn’t feel was right. If a customer deserves a price break, I fight for it. If there’s anything I can do, I do it. That’s who I am.

Some other changes that might amaze you: you’ll never hear me bad mouth my boss, the company, or other such stuff to you. You are my customer, I’m here to HEAR you, not the other way around (and besides, really? That’s what friends and family are for LOL). I won’t tell you one thing, then do another without telling you first, along with an explanation of why I had to do that.

So call me. Lets start to get to know eachother.

Thank you & Good Night

Unfriended & floundering

I have never been the type of person to have a whole bunch of friends. Just a few, that’s all a person really needs, right? A few really good friends can get you through anything, and boy have they. But then things converge…

Four of my closest friends live either out of state or out of country. You know who you are, and for these purposes, you are officially “off the hook.” But I will say I love you, my peeps. And I miss you more than I can say. Although I’ll probably get pretty darned close.

But then there are those that are close. And yet still, I don’t talk with them. See them. Nada. I have one friend, B, who I see & talk with on a weekly basis. We used to see eachother every single day– watch Buffy together, even. That was when we lived in the same apartment complex. R and I… we used to see eachother all the time, too, before she moved oos (out of state). I’m used to having at least one friend that I can talk to all the time.

(…I think I’m getting needy…)

Don’t really have that right now. I’m at loose ends. Even my dad, my 83 year old dad has a social life. Tried to call him tonight– nope. He was not in. SIGH. (Although I am very happy for him).

Even though I had vowed I was done trying, I picked up the phone to call one friend tonight. Got voice mail. Don’t know why I bothered leaving one, I won’t get a call back. And I’m off into the viscous cycle.

You know, I was ready to not have time for friends because Ray needed me. I was. I was going to spend time with him, have fun, do this do that… And then it turns out that the developmental problems may not be as large as some thought. Now that the fight is over, so too is the need for over protection and making sure things go right for him. There’s still some level of fingers in the pie, especially with school… But no where near where I thought it might be this time last year. Now, he’s all gang busters making friends and being a “love” to his teacher.

Brian has classes 2 nights a week. Then there’s Bible Study on Monday, too. He loves Bible study, comes home all a-glow with the warmth of seeing friends and studying with them. How can I tell him NOT to go? Can’t.

It didn’t hurt so much, or feel so bad when I was at Dad’s because Dad is as social a creature as I am. Just enough to be connected, but leave me alone when I want to read. Brian, not so much a talker. Which is fine, I guess.  I mean, I married the man knowing this.

I’m just feeling lost. Unfriended, as if there was a poll and everyone decided to get rid of me. Isolated. Sorry for myself.

So here i am, throwing it all out there to the world. Lets face it, a blog is a connection of sorts. The act of reading this blog opens the possibility of a dialogue.

Or you know. I could get off line, pick up the phone, and try again.

I think I’ll do that.


Right after I hit “Publish”.

Navigation & Living Large

What does living large mean? What should it mean? I know most see it as having & spending tons of money. Going out and doing things in a big way. But what if it meant something else? Something more personal, more meaninful? What if it actually meant something?

I started this blog because I firmly believe that I have a calling to write. Still believe it, but I’ve moced off the path a little (blog wise, that is). I haven’t been paying attention to what means something to me, what matters most.

In watching some of my shows lately, i’ve been bludgeoned with the thought: What are you waiting for? What will it take for you to step up and live your life? Do what you’re passionate about? If your passion/calling/talent isn’t being used…. then find another way.

For a long time, this was my other way. I wrote about things that really mattered to me here. Deeply. Not so much, lately, though.

So how can I live large and fulfill what I’m here to do?

1. Go to God. Pray. Really, there’s no living large without Him, so why not have the Master Navigator charting my course?

2. Write about things I’m passionate about, not something I feel i should write. Whether in the blog, journal, fiction, poetry… no matter. Just write about something with meaning to me.

3. Carve out time for me, where I’m not sick or just watching tv.

4. Try to walk with Him everyday, in Every Way. That’s the only way to really and truly live large.

There are things that I’m passionate about that need to find their way back onto these pages. Some of them have made appearances, some need to be brought out into the light of day. With my Navigator by my side, I’ll know where to go, when to avoid the rocks.

Buckle up. It’s gonna be a fun ride.


Changes, they are a coming. And I’m not sure how I feel about them.

The first is obvious. My little Baby Ray is no longer a baby. He is all boy. He is growing by leaps and bounds. I’m so proud of him– his speech has come a long way from this time last year. He has come a long way from this time last year. He’s a smart boy, too, and has a bit of the imp in him.

Then there’s the change in how I feel about where I’m living. I still feel safe-ish. But not completely safe. I suppose that’s normal, but it’s still an awefully big change for me. I’ve felt safe everywhere I’ve lived except for 1 place.

Work is, well, it’s work. I have a job and am very grateful for that. THat it happens to be one that I enjoy for the most part, and that I’m good at is a super big bonus. But things there are going to change too, it’s the nature of the beast.

ANd my writing. Wow. Has it changed. My habits with writing need to change, too, though. I need to write more consistently, instead of waiting on the muse. I know this, I’ve gone through this before. Yet it’s a lesson that I need to re-learn over and over. What will it take to get it pounded into my head?

And my marriage. IT’s changing too. Evolving somewhat. We spend more time together, as a family unit. Which is ALL GOOD, don’t get me wrong. BUt sometimes I wonder at our roles, and why we have the ones we have, and and and and….

Changes are coming all around. SOme will be good, some bad. But the only thing certain about life is that if you’re doing it right, SOMETHING is BOUND TO CHANGE.

Just gotta re-gain my optimism for the day 🙂