Giving

Sometimes it’s the ones who are hurting the most who give. They fling love and comfort out into the world, even as others deny it to them.

My niece has a whole host of health problems. Because of them, she is in constant, debilitating pain. They run the gamut from her spine to her heart to her intestines to her sinuses and a whole lot that I know nothing about. Somedays, even breathing hurts. 

But I know what hurts more.

There are those who say they love her, and who probably do… that say it’s all in her head. Or are casually cruel: ‘you’re getting fat’. Well, 1. The amount of steroids she’s on swells up her face and 2. Her whole host of medical problems kind of makes it hard to excersize.Her body has turned on her, and so have the people in her life.

And yet. And yet. 

And yet,she is one of my favorite people. We go places together, not alot… but hopefully enough. 

And yet, I know I can call her when I’m having a problem. When I’m lost, I know she’ll help me find my way. And when I’m so frustrated that I’m sobbing, she’ll make me laugh, pick up a ridiculously low priced printer for me and solve the problem.

I called on Sunday, crying because of childcare. My father gave me 12 hours notice that he was leaving on a trip. .. and none of my usual backups were answering the phone or able to help. I had 2 options, if I stayed at the house (which I have to do)…. but they both involved juggling. 

I’m not a good juggler. Things fall, and break, all the time.

So I called her, crying. I only expected her to listen. Instead, she gifted me with a solution. One my son is ecstatic  with, and I am grateful for. I can handle 1 ball in the air.

My heart is easier this week. Her heart… it physically has problems. But the other heart?  It’s bigger than those problems.
Thank you.

One More Book

My son needs to read one more book to get a Library Champion lawn sign. It’s from Sacramento, not our home one… but it’s still going in our yard.

My son has read 15 books since Saturday.

My son, who hates to read, and has consistently struggled with it, has read 15 books.

Since Saturday.

I can’t tell you how proud I am right now. Although, I call myself a writer so I should probably try. It’s a Supercalifragilisticexpialadotious kind of feeling! See! Mary Poppins does have all the answers 🙂

Comics were the gateway, of course they are with so many boys. Once he started reading those, I knew it was a matter of time until he caught the bug. I’m not sure if he loves reading as much as I do, or if it was a competition to get the sign, or medal (there’s one of those too!).. but he did it.

I’m dancing in my chair at the library telling you guys this. I had to share, right away. Because… oh my goodness! My boy did it! So inappropriate for the library (the dancing, not the reading).

Lets hear it for the boy! Lets give the boy a hand!

 

Bones

I saw the bones

Of the world

Washed up on shore

Stripped bare of the

Taint of hate

Laying side by side

One atop another

Coexisting
No care for male 

Or female

Republican or Democrat

Black or white

Brown or tan.
How long until

We no longer

Need to wait

Until we’re bones?

Descriptive

Summer is here, so of course I’m writing more. Not particularly because of the season, just need to get my writing going again. If it’s important to me, then I need to put a priority on it.

So tonight, I killed 2 bird with one stone. Took the boys down to the park, and decided to sit and write. Since I tend to lack description, especially of the physical details.

Started out well, living in the moment and writing in my little book. Then the writing circled back to the interior, to more character… but it was rooted in the moment.

It’s a beginning, and that’s all I need. That and to keep going.

I’m also circling more around the bones of the world. It’ll get there.

I’ll get there.

Bones of the World

 

I took this photo back in May, and once I saw it I knew… I am in over my head with this one. Because what some would say is a pile of driftwood made me think of the bones of the world, washed up on shore… and then what happens next?

Is it a poem? A short story?  A long story? A meandering?

I’m not entirely sure. But I know my writerly soul wants to write something about the bones of the world, and it was inspired by this photo. (Which was taken at Bullard State Park & Beach in Bandon, Oregon, btw).

Some places and times touch you deeply. Even though you’re bursting with ideas, sometimes the feels get in your way and you’re percolating.

Perk away, brain, perk away.

I’ll be over here in the corner, writing, when you figure it out.

Writing for….

I firmly believe that writers should be paid for their writing. What we do when we play with words has value, and should be treated as such.

Except when the value of what you’re doing exceeds money. I write my letters, and those have enormous value to me. They are a connection to people whom I love. This blog is also a connection, one to the outside world. I’m also working on an experiment, one where my brain will basically be exploded onto the page in a hopefully wonderful way.

A gallery is going to be showing artist sketch books, and it was open to poets as well. All types of artists. You had to pay $20, which helps to cover costs of the show. I fought with myself about it, because as much as I walk a line with “free” writing and paid, I had reservations paying to be published.

But I will not be published with this collection. Technically, I will be shown. I think that is the term LOL.

And the money does cover costs.

As long as it wasn’t a scam.

I hope it wasn’t. Because I am excited about it.It just brings so many things together for me in a beautiful way. I’ve already starting working on it… so if it is a scam, I’ll still do it.

Because it was well worth the $20.00 to have my writing brain focused and creating a cohesive whole again. As I love rivers, lakes and especially the ocean so much, the project is titled Water. I have a few things already written, and more sketched out to write.

 

 

Sadly, Saturday Night

And I’m at home, sitting on my computer, talking to you.

But that’s ok. I like talking.

Saturday nights are almost always a little melancholy for me. My son is off with his father, catching up on bonding time, which is needed. He deserves to know his dad, to spend time with him. I’m not a big dater, tho… and so often the Princeling is my sidekick.

So. And so. Nothing new with single parents out there, right?

Earlier today, the Princeling and I had a blast. We went up to Sac to attend a Kids Day event at Madison Avenue Baptist Church. Lots of giggles, and fun to be had there. I had a nice conversation with the pastor, talking about what I feel is my calling versus what people think I should be doing. (That’s another post— maybe tomorrow)

Then it was the long ride back, and to the mall. We went to the book store, where I buy cards. Yes. I buy my cards that I send letters in at Barnes and Noble. So far, they have the best selection that I’ve found. I may have also found a book or two to keep me company this weekend 🙂  Then we went to Best Buy to exchange his tablet– great customer service there, especially when you consider I had lost the receipt (shopping tip: use your card at this store– they can find your purchase by scanning it again).

But then, after hours of fun time, it was time to drop him off with his dad. It’s a holiday weekend, so I won’t see him until late Monday night. On the way home, I went to my brother’s house and went out to dinner with his wife.

When I got home I took a nap. Sadly, Saturday Night does not call on me to go out to bars, out on dates, or such like it does others. I need a place to go…. you know that Facebook meme, about an all night bookstore? I could go for that. Or maybe a mom’s Saturday Night writing group— sadly not one near me. I could try and start one… but then when I would write to you? And I do tell myself that I will write on Saturday nights… but it’s a lie I tell myself.

Sunday morning. When the world is bright and happy again. I’ll probably go to my library, which is open on Sundays. Maybe down to the river… who knows?

I do know that the Sadly Saturday blues are only temporary. They will fade when the sun breaks over the horizon and I’ll be back to my normal, cheerful self.

For now… I’m going to watch some Disney Movies (Wreck it Ralph currently, then maybe Frozen) and see….

 

Are you a single parent? What parts of it make you melancholy?