I just realized today that… I’m going to be playing the organ in church on Sunday. And not only that, but my music teacher thinks I can actually play one of the easier hymns while people sing.

Never done that before. Ever!

Ok, so my mom used to sing along to my practice sessions when I was young and doing it as a chore. But anyone else? Nope, never happened. The church in Fremont, where I used to play, even had their organ way up on a balcony (which was for a choir we never had). So I could go up there and hide, and didn’t have to worry about whether anyone could see me. Or were trying to sing with me and I made a train wreck of the whole thing.


I had a nightmare that I played and my brother was there. After I was done he stood up and said, very loudly “That Sucked.” PLEASE NOTE: THAT WAS A NIGHTMARE. He’d never publicly humiliate me in that way about something that I was so insecure about. Private humilation is a different matter.

So I practiced today, and all I could think of was all the other people and I ended up messing up stuff that I can play in my sleep. SIGH.

Oh dear. I think I’m going to puke.

(I’ll let you know how Sunday goes. The good news is, it’s potluck Sunday, so my empty stomache will have lots of yummy stuff to much on).


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