If you’re on Facebook, you’ve probably seen the analogy of the seed: that it has to allow itself to be completely undone in order to change into something else.
I’m debating this one, hotly, right now.
And yes, I am talking to myself again. Loudly.
I had major surgery back at the end of June. One week from today, I’ll go back to the day job. But I’ve had a lot of time to think, think, think… Especially when I was waking up all the time for pain managment (making sure I got the ibuprofins at the right time) and hot flashes (back chohate really works!). I thought of what would make me feel good about my writing, what would make me feel like things were worth it.
Let’s face it, right now I’m a sprinter. I can do the short story, and I enjoy writing them. Even when I was writing novels, however, I never saw myself as sitting at a conference selling books and signing autographs. Would I like to be on the best seller list? Of course.
But it was never my main dream.
Every time I let myself drift and dream, I find myself imagining not scores of readers… but talking to potential writers. Poety. Journaling. Story telling. All of it. I want to share my passion for words and how they have helped me every step of the way.
My seed hasn’t come completely undone. Perhaps it already had done that a long time ago. Instead, my branches are reaching for a different part of the sky. Maybe not the part you’re reaching for, maybe not the part others like… but the little slice that is mine.
Now… how to go about doing this? I have some preliminary plans in place… we shall see if they go anywhere. But I’ll never know until I start.
(The hilarious part is I’ve always shied away from teaching because of the public speeking part of it. Wheeee!)