Seeds of Change

If you’re on Facebook, you’ve probably seen the analogy of the seed: that it has to allow itself to be completely undone in order to change into something else.

I’m debating this one, hotly, right now.

And yes, I am talking to myself again. Loudly.

I had major surgery back at the end of June. One week from today, I’ll go back to the day job. But I’ve had a lot of time to think, think, think… Especially when I was waking up all the time for pain managment (making sure I got the ibuprofins at the right time) and hot flashes (back chohate really works!). I thought of what would make me feel good about my writing, what would make me feel like things were worth it.

Let’s face it, right now I’m a sprinter. I can do the short story, and I enjoy writing them. Even when I was writing novels, however, I never saw myself as sitting at a conference selling books and signing autographs. Would I like to be on the best seller list?  Of course.

But it was never my main dream.

Every time I let myself drift and dream, I find myself imagining not scores of readers… but talking to potential writers. Poety. Journaling. Story telling. All of it. I want to share my passion for words and how they have helped me every step of the way.

My seed hasn’t come completely undone. Perhaps it already had done that a long time ago. Instead, my branches are reaching for a different part of the sky. Maybe not the part you’re reaching for, maybe not the part others like… but the little slice that is mine.

Now… how to go about doing this? I have some preliminary plans in place… we shall see if they go anywhere. But I’ll never know until I start.

(The hilarious part is I’ve always shied away from teaching because of the public speeking part of it. Wheeee!)

Advertisements

5 thoughts on “Seeds of Change

  1. When you say your branches are reaching for a different part of the sky, I’m just imagining a houseplant that grew under artificial light being moved out into the sun.

    ‘Cause, you know, plants reach toward the light, and that’s the only way a tree would start reaching for a different part of the sky. 🙂

    • Sometimes, that’s what it feels like. Especially when you’re letting go of what you THINK you should want for yourself, and admitting to what you REALLY do want. Kind of like a superdose of sunshine for the soul 😀

  2. Exciting stuff, and a great direction to reach your metaphorical branches in. I think you’ll be very inspiring as an educator and if you ever come educating in my neck of the woods you can consider me an attendee. I can relate to the fear of public speaking, but don’t doubt for a second that you’ll move past that with a bit of courage and practice. Look forward to seeing news on this front.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s