I actually finished reading this on Friday night. I’ve just been collecting myself so I could say something other than the first words that came out of my mouth.
This is probably the one book that I’ve read that was so personal to me, and it was flawlessly done.
One of Cathy Lamb’s signatures are flawed characters who have gone through/are going through/ recovered from some horrendous thing. That being said, her novels are filled with hope, with families that love each other even when they want to throttle each other, and a good dose of humor.
I’ve talked before about my ex-husband. About why and how I quit writing, my struggles with regaining my voice. For those that are new to the blog I’ll catch you up: I was married to a meth addict for about 10 years. He also has mental health issues. But Ms. Lamb explains it so eloquently, and with few words, so I’ll use hers:
“I thought of how he’d gotten into my head, then spun me around, flinging me this way and that. I’d allowed him to get inside my brain, my voice, myself. I let myself be trapped.” — If You Could See What I See, Cathy Lamb.
Thankfully, I didn’t have the nightmares or anywhere near outcome that Meggie had. I even came out of it with the greatest gift of all– my son. But I did loose a lot of myself during those years, and this book did something that I really needed.
It gave me a happy ending.
I know, it sounds corny, and it isn’t the happy ending that your thinking of (although that one was satisfying as well). But by the end of the book, Meggie has gotten herself back– different than who she was before, still guarded, but definitely herself. And using the art that was hers once again, even if in a new way.
I don’t know that I can express just how much this book means to me. It is at once tragic and uplifting… just as is life.
Thank you Cathy Lamb, for giving me hope for a happily ever after on my terms.