Just said goodbye– dropped him off and waited long after he’d faded into the system. “This is it,” I told him, tell myself. “Once this is done, your past is behind you. That Brian no longer exists. Lay him to rest while you’re there.” Easy to say, harder to live by.
That’s why I’m hiding. Hiding at Denny’s, of all places. Somewhere where no one knows me, really cares if my eyes fill with tears. Which is why they won’t. I do not cry in public if I can help it. Instead, I gather my resolve, put pen to paper and let it out. No one knows or cares about what someone else is scribbling across the back of their check stub.
This is merely the warm up. Tonight, the real show begins. The Mommy & Ray show starts playing again. And no mis-cues can be tolerated. The sakes are too high.
And yet, still, in this particular situation, I am the lucky one. Because I was able to witness Ray’s conversation with the moon last night.