My Kid’s NOT Autistic

Dear teacher’s and case managers and everyone else:

I appreciate that you’re just trying to help. I really do. But for some reason, you keep trying to put my son into the category of being “autistic”.

Tip-toe walking, a bit of drool and language delays do not necessarily autistic make.

I freely admit that he needs help, that there is a delay and something is wrong. HOWEVER, he’s not autistic. And the more you keep trying to test for it, going to bigger and bigger testing facilities, the more I wonder… Are you so ill equipped that you can’t help a child that *doesn’t* fit into your neat little molds?

I walked on my tippy tip toes. My mom solved that by throwing me into heavy buckle up past my ankles walking shoes. I never did that with Ray. He doesn’t talk much, he does have a language delay.  But I always thought that autism presented as a child loosing language– Ray has never had it. Yes, he throws fits. Bites and hits. He’s 2. It happens. And yes, he drools. A lot. I’ve met large, drooly dogs that drool less than him. And as for his being clumsy… I hate to tell you this, but that’s a family trait that he got from me. My sister. Countless other children in our family have the same “affliction”. As for pointing to objects, you might not have seen it yet but trust me– he does. You should see him on a quest for cookies or chips.

Yes, I know he presents a puzzle. But I’m hoping, praying, BEGGING you to see the beauty of this puzzle. He’s bright. He remembers things. He loves people– I wish you could see him zooming through the church, hugging all the people. Who, by the way, don’t mind being slimed by his drool. They love him right back.

He loves music, and dancing. There are morning when he wakes up dancing. He loves to explore new frontiers, and DH and I have a heck of a time keeping up with him as he tries to learn the world one tree at a time.

He hugs trees. Picks flowers. When he tries to smell them, he scrunches up his nose and makes a blowing noise like he’s, well, blowing his nose. Bubbles captivate him. Cars and balls are his favorite toys. I remember bringing him home from a large toy store, and he clutched his new truck all the way home, then all the way into the house. At the time, it was almost as big as he was.  He can sit and watch a movie, and he knows exactly which one is which by looking at the pictures on the case. He loves the digital camera, and (by accident) taken some really good pictures.

SO please, please, PLEASE…. Test him all you want. But know that he isn’t going to fit into your mold of what he should be. He is, simply, the Little Ray of Sunshine that has brought a miracle into our lives.

Let him spread a bit of it in yours, too, OK? That’s all I’m asking.

Thank you,

Ray’s Mom

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One thought on “My Kid’s NOT Autistic

  1. Hi, i felt compelled to respond, seeing as your gut feeling is telling you something different than what others are saying, and so is mine. My little girl has always been quiet, very delayed in her language, tiptoes and now has emotional fits (tantrums). She is just about 5. I have had her in a speech therapist since she was 2 because she doesnt talk much and still doesnt and when she does she has great difficulty in formulating sentences and words…they have determined that after some assessments that she we dont have to worry about “autism”, however, it is my gut feeling that they are missing something. I feel that something is a bit off, and have always felt something is wrong, since she was about 12 months old. I only hope that I am wrong. I hope that she will be okay while in school and develop friends and keep them and make it through school. That is my hope. But something still tugs at me telling me…she is not just delayed, but rather somewhere on the autism spectrum and i hope i get the supports when needed, rather than struggling to get her the supports she needs while going through the school system…atleast if there was some broad diagnosis, it might provide my little girl with supports when needed, versus her struggling through school and life without more support…so be somewhat thankful you have supports out there to gain knowledge and understanding now and in the future, especially when you or your son really need it… and maybe, like you said, nothing is wrong and he will continue to grow and develop and succeed at the pace others expect…

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