My Big Boy

It came to my attention, once again, just how far Ray has come.  There was a guest at church today, once that hasn’t seen Ray in about a year. We were talking about his speech, and the fact that he tested really well at school last year academically.

Ok. You have to remember that at one point, I was told to expect moderate retardation at best in his testing. Most probably combined with autism. (Neither of which is his particular problem).

So. The fact that he can feed himself, make his opinions known verbally and is a social creature is really quite remarkable to some people.

We, however, always new better. If not, go see the post titled MY KID’S NOT AUTISTIC.

Anyhoo— We deal with Ray everyday. So we still see that he falls off his feet (Kerplop!), has a few motorskills problems, but is overall a bright boy. We forget sometimes, exactly how much he has learned in the past year. How much his learning has accelerated. Colors, numbers, counting, shapes, name recognition (written)…

He learned a lot in the past year and I am so proud of him! We still have things we need to work on, but overall… He’s the smart boy I always knew was residing inside his head. He just couldn’t let people know before.

Autistic my fanny!

Bakugan’s– a learning tool

One of Ray’s newest obsessions is the little bakugans. They are small little balls that when popped on their card (magnetic, I think), pop open transformer-esque. He has 3 of them currently, and loves them. He will not allow us to play with them– the child who will normally share whatever he has, no matter how well loved the item, has grown selfish.

YAY!

(He’s acting like a normal 3 1/2 year old here, excuse me while I wipe a tear from my eye.)

But there’s something more, too. These little toys need someone who will fiddle with them, and employ fine motor skills. Which, if you remember, motor skills is the place where Ray has the slight problem. The Dyspraxia affects both fine and gross motor skills. So here he is, gaining dexterity, expanding his brain power as he figures out how to put them back together….

Oh, and the imaginative play is active, too.

Bakugan’s rock for Ray. In more ways than one. 

YAY Bakugan!

Thank You UC Davis!

Sorry it’s been so long since I’ve posted. Ray went up to UC Davis to meet with the loverly and talented Dr. I. and has been sick off and on ever since.

UC Davis day was a long day. BUT…. So worth it! Dr. I. agreed with me…. MY KID IS NOT AUTISTIC!!! You don’t know how much of a relief that is for me. I’m sitting here crying. Where Ray is concerned, I feel as if a huge weight has been lifted off my back. I never truly felt that he had autism, but felt that the system was trying to push that diagnosis on him because of a few tendencies that he has (tip toe walking, language, drooling). I didn’t know what was wrong, but I knew deep in my heart that my KID IS NOT AUTISTIC.

That’s not to say that he doesn’t have some problems. Dr. I. said that if she had to diagnose him, it would probably be a mild form of DYSPRAXIA. Of course, we got home and I looked it up on the internet right away. My jaw dropped, my heart kind of did a little leap.

Yes, my boy has problems. But at least the diagnosis seems to fit the problem now.

Dyspraxia is a nuerological disorder that effects the planning, organization and carrying out of both gross and fine motor skills. Things like his having problems with a spoon, lack of talking, his “clumsiness”, his abhorrance of the tooth brush, the way he can’t draw a straight line, even the way he loves on certain textures (his wooby)… So much! Having a hard time finding anything out about helping with the motor skill part, but the speech part– some people have had a lot of success using sign language because it gives the child another way of expression and/or the cue.

(Personally, I think it boils down to a multi-sensory need for learning. I could be wrong– like I said, still starting to find out about it… But I will know more. I will! I Will!!!)

Anyhoo– So Ray and I are working on “S” right now. I have hissed it into his belly, let his fingers crawl into my mouth as I said that sound… And he can make an “S” sound. For today. I know it’s going to take a lot of work. But that’s ok!

I AM SO HAPPY!

And ok. Yah, A LOT of that happiness comes from being RIGHT!

AHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!

Seriously, though. It does reinforce the point that at the end of the day, these little blessings are OUR children. If a doctor or a therapist or teacher is trying to tell you that something is wrong with your child, but it does not fit… Say something. Because we are their first, their BEST advocates. Push until they can either explain to you WHY their diagnosis is correct in a way that makes sense to you, or for another opinion.

Ray does have some “symptoms” that mirror autism.

1. Tip toe walking. Doesn’t count though, because he only does it when he’s up to no good or day-dreaming

2. The drooling. (Turns out, according to Dr. I. that it has something to do with when he’s concetrating (i.e. fine motor skill or learning) something in his brain misfires and he forgets to swallow).

3. Parallel play. He doesn’t play with other children his own age, but rather next to them. Mostly, it’s because he gets frustrated. He’s not a dummy, he just doesn’t have the tools to communicate effectively with his peers. Yet.

4. Lack of Imaginary Play. He does, actually, do imaginary play. He’ll give a stuffed animal his binky, tried to feed his snack from Dr. I to a stuffed rabbit, made appropriate noises, etc… That’s actually when she turned to me and said she agreed with me, that he is absolutely not autistic.

Now, there is a chance that at some point the doctors will be right, and we, the parent will be wrong. That’s why I said above that they need to explain it to you in a way that makes sense to you.  It’s the difference between accepting a diagnosis (or a tendency to push for that diagnosis by some people) of autism, and getting a diagnosis that fits not only Ray’s  symptoms, but also his personality.