Christmas Joy

So being a mom takes Christmas and up ends it. And when you’ve been working on basic things like speech all year long… Sometimes the magic all happens at the same time.

Ray and his dad put up the tree today. And as Bri was building the tree, Ray danced around the living room (think potty dance amped up x 100) saying “My Tree~ My House! Mommy, my trees!”

And when the lights when on, oh I didn’t know if his little heart would be able to take it.

He has come such a long way in the past year. His vocabulary has just exploded, using simple sentences, imaginative play, whole bunches of stuff. He is my Christmas Joy, and I love to hear the music of him calling “Mommy! My house! My tree! Christmas!”

Yes indeedy Raymond, there is a Santa Clause

Things Fall Together

So back in August I was able to get help with day care. That enabled me to save to be able to move (Tomorrow!YAY!). Then, in November, I went over to the apartments to see J, the manager.

She was running a special. She couldn’t guarantee it until January, but December would work.

At that point, I had no idea if Bri would be home yet or not. I struggled with the decision, prayed hard about it. Should I go ahead and move and be by myself with Ray in the apartment for a month until Bri got home?

I finally got the feeling that God had put something in my path, and wouldn’t I be an idiot not to pick it up? I mean, when He gives a gift only a bozo wouldn’t want it. Right?

So I called J back soon after and took an apartment. We would move in the 5th of December. Also known as Saturday. I took a great big old leap of faith. And BAM!

It was a good thing I had. Because Brian came home on Tuesday.

How’s that for things coming together? For a Master Plan?

Holy Sacrifice

Ok, I’m the first to admit it. It hasn’t struck me as ironic until today. When I really thought about it.

During our wedding, the minister said “As they embark on this Holy Sacrifice” (or something to the effect) INSTEAD of “holy sacrament.” Now, I love my family. That family includes Brian.

But man— It sure as Holy Heck has been a Holy Sacrifice at times.

I have separated from him before. But I had faith (misplaced at times, I’ll admit). But after the last stinit he straightened out. He was GOING TO CHURCH… as a matter of fact, he WAS MAKING ME GO to church. Instead of the other way around. Praying every day, letting Ray see him pray. Going to Bible studies. Sheesh! I thought to myself. A Good Thing I stuck around to reap these rewards.

Because it would have been easy. And right. Make no mistake, I am not saying that divorce is bad, or that some one should stay in a rotten relationship. I’m saying that for ME sticking around worked. I happed to get the one out of a bazillion who actively worked to change himself. And it worked.

Sort of.

Cuz we’re separated again, tho by circumstance not my choice. And we shall be re-united again sometime soon.

I wonder if the minister realizes how prophetic he was?

Face Book Addiction

Ok, so is it really an addiction if I only pop on a few times a day to check it out? Because, you know… There are worse things I could be doing. AND all of my “friends” are people that my husband would know… Well, except maybe 2… No, make that 3… ahem… 5. But those people are my writing contacts! Really! Honestly!

I have gone from hating facebook to being on it almost every night/day. How about the rest of blog-land? Are you on facebook? Do you like it? Did it start out as a like… or full bore addiction right out the gate?

I should probably mention I had sent a 3 page letter to Brian detailing exactly why he would not be on facebook anymore….. and now I’m doing it.

he. he. he.

What the Keck

So Brian will be home some time next week. Just in time to help me move! YAY!

I don’t know what word press is doing, but it is annoying. Can’t get the Tag or the publish drop down to go away. SIGH. Oh well… Moving onwards!

Ray is doing so well. I hope the transition will be smooth for him. I think it will, simply because he’s a happy little trooper. He will definately miss Poppa, though, as will I.

I’ve been trying to finnagle a look at the Walmart Ad for Black Friday and it won’t let me. Sigh. Had an email with it in it… Maybe they want me to wait. We’ll see, cuz I’m going to try again tomorrow. WHo can wait until Thursday? That’s CRAZY talk!

I am grateful for so many things coming up on this Thanksgiving. One of which is the past 6 months that Ray and I have spent with my Dad. It’s been great for us. Him… He’s probably gonna enjoy the quiet (for about 10 minutes LOL).

GOtta go. More later this weekend. Trying to be a good little blogger again.

SIGH.

Scattered

Bits of my life are scatter thither and yon right now. I’ll try to pull them together for you and make a co-hesive whole.

1. Dental Work: Yup. If you’ve talked to me lately you know I sounds slightly like Daffy Duck. They are suppposed to fix it tomorrow when they finish up the work. I really wish that the ladies from WESTERN DENTAL who schedule these things would tell us: “You know, that’s an awful lot of stuff to do in one day… how about we split it up?” Oh well, at least this dentist BELEIVED me when I told her about high tolerance to pain killers. I’m not after vicodin (won’t take the nasty stuff— do nothing for me ‘cept make me goofy). I just want a PAIN FREE visit. Yay!

2. Am moving back to Sesame Street on December 5th. I’m so happy I could cry. I miss my place, my neighborhood, being so close to everything. But I feel kind of guilty cuz….

3. I’m leaving Dad. He’s in a better place now emotionally– he’s got friends that he sees, goes out to lunch, etc…. But I am going to miss being around him every day terribly. I am so grateful for the time we’ve spent here. It has been a blessing in so many ways if I tried to cound it here I’d take up all the space on the world wide web.

4. I’m going back to Sesame Street! Yah, I know I already mentioned it. But it’s worth repeating. It’s another 1 bedroom (sigh), but hopefully we won’t be in it for very much longer. Next place will be a house.

5. Ray can say his “S”! Finally! Day Care Diva worked and worked and worked on it with him and he can say an “s”! This is super huge terrific news! This news is so good, I bought him a talking Bumble Bee from Transformers– a $20.00 toy even though so close to Christmas. Sue me. I’m proud. He worked hard. Yay Baby Ray!

6. We’ll know Tuesday whether or not Brian will be home in time for Holidays. I’ve been praying ferociously. Please, allow our family to re-unite! We miss Daddy!

7. Ray still loves Walmart. It is his happy place. And lest you think it has to do with toys— not so. Did not even go into the toy aisles today. Food aisles and clothes only. Is still his favorite place on earth, although Target runs a close second. That’s my boy– his happy places are both shopping centers!

8. Went to church today and loved being there. They started a new class on the Sacraments in the church, and I really enjoyed it. Maybe once we move back to Sesame Street, we can come for Sunday schoold even if there is no nursury for 11 o’clock service. That’s the reason we don’t go a lot of Sundays. No one to watch Ray during 11 o’clock, and it’s a LONG drive from Dad’s house. From Sesame street– 5 – 10 minutes.

9. That’s all for now folks! More to come, soon! Promise!

WORD PRESS ROCKS

And here’s why.

One of my freinds, a dear dear friend whom I Love Dearly…. Found me through Word Press.

I am going to have to blog more often, in simple gratitude.

THANK YOU!

 

Home-sick

I am homesick.

For my little bitty apartment, on Sesame Street. The one with not enough plugs in the kitchen, or counter space. The one where the windows didn’t always work quite right, and the screen door was falling off it’s hinges.

You know the one. The one where my son grew up. Where he ran around a big looping figure 8 around the chair, did his Yo-Gabba dance (a galloping, thigh slapping dance) the first time. The place where Brian, Ray and I were invincible. A family.

Safe. Together.

I called over there today, asked what a 2 bedroom would cost. I know that a 1 bedroom would be just a little bit too small for the 3 of us now.

But I want to go home. I don’t know how I’ll do it. I don’t know how… because almost all my money is going to daycare and gas. But I’ll find a way.

I told Brian tonight, on the phone, that I want to go back. That I need to go back home to sesame street. There’s no back yard for Ray to play in, but the rent’s do-able if Brian starts working fairly quickly, and it’s central to bus lines and stores and parks and all sorts of stuff.

I want to go home.

I want to go home.

I want to go home.

Yellow School Bus

God bless the Yellow School Bus.

Well, the first day, 1 week ago, I was cursing it to three forms of hell. They didn’t stop for Ray, and he ended up running after it to no avail (with daycare diva). It near broke his heart. Then the bus people didn’t answer their phones… V. V. aggrivating!

But! Ray is now going to school. It has been 1 week, and he is doing great. He loves the Yellow School Bus, loves it so much that I use it to bribe him to get dressed in the morning. “Do you want to go on the bus today?” 

 ”YAY! Bus!”

“Then you need to get dressed!” Arms fly into the shirt, head pops out, legs into pants… He really wants to go on that bus.

Another good thing about the bus, and school, is that he no longer takes a nap. Which means he is out by 8pm. Which sounds horrible, since we don’t get home until 6pm… But he was staying up until 10:30 at night and later. Now, Mommy gets some time to read, to write… To blog.

I’ve noticed that he’s talking a lot more now, too. His “Mommy, Mommy,” as he tries to show me what’s important to him has lost the baby in it. It is now almost all boy.

My boy. Going to school.

Sigh.

Growing up is hard to do. But letting go is just a wee bit harder, me thinks.

Swine Flu

So.

Brian is at a facility that has a “confirmed” 12 cases of Swine Flu. They were diagnosed on Monday or so. According to Brian, they found out about it after watching the channel 13 news.

After Ray and I had been there on Saturday.

Needless to say, I freaked out. Ray gets so sick, so easily. So I was on phone with all the doctors and everything. Ray and I are both fine.

But still.

How can people get that sick, and nothing be done to contain it from the the public? It just doesn’t seem right.

Oh well. I don’t have all the particulars, but I’m sure I’ll get more details as his letters flow in. Cuz I’m not going to see him for a while.

Not gonna happen.

There’s no way that anyone’s worth putting Ray in harms way. And while the Swine Flu is like any other flu— it can still kill the little ones.

So sleep well, Brian. I’ll see you in a few weeks or so.

PS- Brian does not have it at this moment.